Headlines! Here’s How I See It…
Feet Report that the Upper Body is Overrated
Harley Davidson Seeks to Rejuvenate the Brand with Family-style Motorcycle
Racers Astonished by Sudden Gravitational Shifts
Satellite Providers Turn to Magic Blue Man to Fix Widespread Reception Problems: Service Among Smurf Demographic at All Time High
Tortoise Implicated in Serial Arson Case, Hare Sought for Questioning as Possible Accomplice
Indian Librarian Shrinks all Works by Shakespeare in Effort to Read Them Faster
Princess Diana Not Dead, Trapped in Warlock’s Dining Hall Tapestry
Chihuahua Claims Land Speed Record on Pony, Not to be Outdone Black Bear Phenom “Hugo” Hits the Track to Reclaim the Title
Walrus Trio to Remake “Feed the World” for Charity Event
Iraqi Man Finds Zoom Buttons on Side of Eyeballs
Urban Sprawl Cuts Canoe Trips Short
Border Jumpers Form Tactical Go-Cart Squads in Effort to Confuse Border Patrols
World’s Smallest Man Evicted from Home, Holds Protest Outside Residence Claiming Squatters’ Rights
